Interstellar Hook-Up

Found him in a chatroom on the internet
He was the friendliest little spaceman I'd ever met
Where he came from I just don't know
But he took me for a ride in his UFO
He said space is really big and he gets lonely
That's when he tried to probe me
I said, "Hey, Mr. Spaceman don't go there!
Radiation causes fallout in my pubic hair!"
He was androgynous, homogenous
Sex is always hit or miss
But I never thought it'd come to this
Alien anal sex with a silver metal probe
I'm still not sure how he got me to disrobe
He sure was slick, I'll give him that
But he won't find me now with my new foil hat.

- Scott Tuomala, 2003